"US and Israel the Infidel" Burden:
1) Hand over land retrieved from desert, together with greenhouses using the most modern techniques of hydroponics.
2) When asked to supply technical assistance for those who try, in the moments when they are not asking for technical assitance, to kill you, carefully ponder how you should respond. It's a tough question.
3) If you are a government of a country in Western Europe or North America, make sure that those Arab and Muslim countries that forgot to be situated on top of huge supplies of oil and gas are given billions in aid, not by their rich fellow Muslim countries (that would never do) but by the Infidels themselves.
4) When you find out that some of those billions, supposedly given to relieve poverty, are spent on nuclear weapons projects not only for the country in question, but for weaponry to be offered hither and yon, hide your displeasure and be sure on every possible occasion to show how deeply you appreciate the hard work of the country in question (Pakistan) for its being "an ally on the war on terror." Do not allude to the long support that that country have to the Taliban, indeed making the Taliban possible, nurturing it from the days of its founders in the madrasas of Paksitan. Do not allude either to the connections between the ISI and the Taliban that continued long after Al Qaeda enterered Afghanistan. Keep up the debt relief, and the supplies of arms, and the supplies of money, to that "close ally in the war on terror" Pakistan.
5) The same goes for Egypt. Make sure that the $60 billion so far sent to Egypt, to provide a little walking-around money for the regime, and to further infuriate -- if such were possible -- the poorer Egyptians who, of course, will find the outlet for their discontent at the corruption, linked to Infidel support and money, by voting for Akef and the Muslim Brotherhood, for in an Islamic society, the discontent will always take on a Muslim frame, a Muslim cast. Do not ever raise the issue of what Egypt is doing with that $2 billion a year. Do not inquire as to why Egypt apparently can spend $7.5 billion a year on foreign armaments, more than any other country save for China and India which are, come to think of it, just a bit larger than Egypt. Do not dare to suggest cutting aid to Egypt, even though the government-controlled Egyptian media (just try to say a bad word about Mubarak's son and his prospects) is a world center for antisemitism (that television series based on "The Protocols of the Elders of Zion" that was such a riveting hit last year -- not exactly "I Love Lucy" or "The Honeymooners" now was it?) and of anti-Americanism (is it 95% or 99% of Egypt's Muslims who say they hate America? I can't remember).
6) When the "Palestinian Authority" (quondam PLO) takes $5-6 billion in aid from long-suffering European and, to a lesser extent, American taxpayers, and then when Arafat dies much of those billions disappear, and no one seems to find this disturbing (least of all Chris Patten or Javier Solana or, in the Ravenite Social Club on the East River, still hopefully called the United Nations, Kofi Annan or his "senior adviser" Edward Mortimer or assorted Rishmawis who helped guide in her vicious Middle Eastern views the ghastly Mary Robinson) , please have the common decency not to mention the missing billions. For god's sake -- Arafat is dead, and you want to bring up a little matter of money? How crude and rude can you be? And to make up for that indelicate gaffe, please offer anothre $9 billion in Infidel taxpayer aid, no questions asked, so that the "Palestinian" shock troops of the Lesser Jihad (the little one against Israel, not the big, limitless one against the entire non-Muslim world) can continue to thrive, and not have to worry about working all day, or in possibly leaving as people have since time began when local conditions offer no possibility of reasonable subsistence (and the local Arabs show no ability, and no desire, to work at the rate required, nor appear to possess the human capital that an area so lacking in natural resources would need).
Keep up the Jizyah boys. Keep it all up, everywhere. The plan is working. The Infidel Man's burden, the mission civililsatrice -- the same thing thåt, after 130 years of French rule, managed to give Algeria thriving agriculture where none had existed, and a system of hospitals and universities unrivalled anywhere in the so-called Third World, and through the access to French, access as well to modern advanced Western civilization.
And look at Algeria today, after more than 40 years of FLN rule. No wonder Bouteflika demands more, and more -- of France. Because, you see, everything everywhere is the Infidel Man's fault.
It is his burden. And his alone. Islam -- the Islam of inshallah-fatalism, the Islam that encourages the habit of mental submission and discourages free and skeptical inquiry, the Islam that encourages despotism as long as the final authority remains the Qur'an, Hadith, and Sira -- that Islam has nothing to do with it.